Were You There?


4. Peter Denies Jesus. My name is Peter and I am waiting in the courtyard. I hear a cock crowing. Suddenly I remembered what Jesus had said … before the cock crows 3 times … My heart is gripped with pain as I realize that I had sworn 3 times that I did not know him. O wretched man that I am! I had betrayed my Lord! I was so afraid. How could I have been such a coward? Shame filled my soul and I wept bitterly because I had lost everything I loved. I feel scorched with sorrow; no, no–this cannot be! I love Jesus, my Lord, my friend. I would never betray him. But I have! O, my Lord, can you ever forgive me? Please, please let me find a way to make this right. I CAN’T MAKE THIS GO AWAY. This is the worst thing I have ever done. Tears flowed down my cheeks and my breath came in gasps. I will never forgive myself. He is the Messiah, the One we have been waiting for. He is innocent and I betrayed him! My cries echo in the dark night like the screams of a trapped animal. Jesus, please, please forgive me! (Sara Meade–Waynesboro VA)

We pray. Carelessly, I deny you every day. When I make choices based on self-respect, I declare my loyalty to false and empty gods. When I can waste time and energy on distractions but turn away from opportunities for mercy and compassion, but turn away from opportunities for mercy and compassion, I uphold allegiance to self-love and passing things. Touch my heart with your grace and melt away my selfishness. Renew my weary spirit. Help me to shed tears of contrition for my betrayals, and like Peter, help me return to your friendship.

Rolo B Castillo © 2014

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