Photo by Wedding Photography on Unsplash
Twenty-first Sunday in Ordinary Time
Some years back, my friend Will was talking to a young man I knew from when I was in college and worked summer camp in New Jersey. Jack was preparing to walk down the aisle, and wanted some assurance he was doing the right thing. Will pulled Jack aside and looked him in the eye. “Before I married my wife Jenny, I told her that being the man of the house I would be responsible for making all the major decisions. And as the woman of the house, she would be responsible for making all the minor decisions. That was 35 years ago, and I have not had to make one major decision since.”
Will passed away 20 years ago at 83, close to 57 years of marriage to his wife Jenny. Everyone of their family and friends knew their marriage was the cornerstone and foundation of their lives. And I’m sure 57 years of marriage was no cake-walk. If you have been married at least that long, you may know the truth of that, as well you who are nowhere near married that long. Over the last 30 years I have sat with couples preparing for marriage, and it is still a great mystery to me that human beings, self-centered, fickle, superficial, irrational, and impulsive as they can be, are still able to find love and freely commit themselves to each other for the rest of their lives. Well, it’s not a total mystery. I do know some things. But there definitely is something mysterious going on between people that defies explanation. Still the one thing extremely necessary for a marriage to prosper and endure is the deliberate and sincere commitment each makes to live in a communion of life and love with the other. Faith in God will deepen their communion. But this communion of life and love must be their highest priority or something else will get in the way. It should be even more important than being right or having the right answers all the time.
A lasting and sincere commitment in marriage nourishes communion between the spouses, whose ultimate goal is the good of the other. If husbands and wives were more intensely focused on the communion between them, there is no mistaking the meaning of that second reading from Paul’s letter to the Ephesians. Paul acknowledges the mindset of a different time and place. But his instructions for husbands and wives transcend time and place. In their love for each other they should imitate the example of Jesus Christ, who loved and sacrificed himself for his church. When spouses argue about who submits to whom, it’s a clear sign communion between them is broken and in need of healing. Following Jesus Christ clearly means there is no keeping score.
The covenant relationship between husband and wife is often described in terms of the covenant relationship between Israel and God. So when Joshua gathered Israel at Shechem, a generation had passed since Moses, and many of them had forgotten or had never witnessed God’s mighty works. God once established a covenant with Israel on Mt. Sinai. But Joshua thought it was important to remind them of it more often, even every day. Whom will you serve? So husbands and wives need to be reminded of their marriage covenant, and perhaps renew their commitment to each other every so often, not just once a year. And with each renewal comes a deeper knowledge and experience of what that commitment costs exactly, strengthening the communion between them.
Today Jesus tells the crowd not only to hear his teaching, but also to commit their lives and their very selves to him and his mission. If they truly desired the life of God he wanted to give, they must eat his flesh and drink his blood. Well, it was all too much for them. Instead many of them chose to walk away. “Does this shock you?” It sounds like he was taunting them. But Jesus was not backing down. “It is the spirit that gives life, while the flesh is of no avail. The words I have spoken to you are Spirit and life. But there are some of you who do not believe.” Perhaps he challenged them too soon. You know when a friendship hasn’t matured enough, like when people just first meet, certain attitudes and responses just aren’t there yet. They take time to develop. You would never expect expensive jewelry on the second date. And if you get some, give it back, walk away, unsubscribe from social media, and leave town in a hurry. If Jesus’ listeners had gotten to know him better first, if they had a closer, tighter connection with him, if they were truly in communion with him, they may have stayed … maybe. That’s why couples newly in love shouldn’t rush to the altar. Whatever brings them together may not be strong enough to keep them together. If communion between them is absent, true commitment won’t be there either.
And turning to the Twelve, Jesus asked, “Do you also want to leave?” The choice to turn away is the definitive sign that communion with Jesus is broken. Or perhaps it was never there. “Master, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life. We have come to believe and are convinced that you are the Holy One of God.” Simon Peter did not hesitate to declare his commitment to Jesus, and with him the rest of the Twelve. And yet there may have been some among them who were still struggling. But there’s nothing wrong with struggling. The final break happens when you walk away.
Our communion at the table of the Eucharist is more than just about sharing a meal. Jesus tells us that the bread we eat is truly his body and the wine we drink is truly his blood. Our communion at this table is a declaration of our commitment to Jesus and his mission. It cannot be a half-hearted commitment. There is no such thing. If we do not sincerely believe or even desire to believe what he teaches, how can we possibly commit our lives to him? Our communion with Jesus at the table of his body and blood is the public declaration of our commitment to him, and as well the food that nourishes that commitment. If we have no desire to love as Jesus loves, or to forgive as Jesus forgives, if we prefer instead to live dishonest, self-indulgent, lustful, angry, jealous, selfish, greedy, and arrogant lives, the commitment we claim is a big fat lie. And if there is no commitment, there can be no communion either.
We are God’s people. We are the body of Christ. Our commitment to Jesus is a commitment to his people, as we break the one bread and share the one cup, as we declare our communion with one another. Community life will be challenging. But we cannot break communion with each other and remain in communion with Jesus. Last week parish council invited all parishioners to share their ideas, hopes, and challenges to help plan their work for the coming year. Participation in the parish life is always optional. We will only know when the forms come back. Much like the elections—optional but highly encouraged. Our commitment to God’s people expresses our commitment to God. And many still just walk away. What obstacles prevent us from staying?
Rolo B Castillo © 2024