The Liberating Power of Forgiveness

When I was younger, I had quite a temper. I was easily offended, easily angered, and not as willing to forgive. I had a lot of growing up to do then. And I believe, that is no longer who I am now. This experience of growing up has helped to open my eyes and given me a much fuller life. So, I warn you not to imitate my example. I often held grudges in my heart against those who didn’t like me, those who picked on me, those who treated me with disrespect, and those who had no time or patience for me. Don’t ask me how, but I seemed to be a magnet for this kind of disdain. I didn’t understand why. Maybe I wasn’t hugged enough before the age of two. Maybe my parents had unreasonable expectations of me. Maybe I was not watching enough Sesame Street. And in all my righteous indignation, I would condemn those people with every fiber of my being. I would look upon them with as much distaste and revulsion as I was able to muster. And if I had to speak about them to others, I probably didn’t have much to say that was nice. Often, I would go to bed praying that God would see my hurt and punish my enemies most severely because I had neither the courage nor the inclination to do it myself. A few of my teachers were well aware of my tendency to hold my rage deep down inside. It seemed I was always in a funk about some slight or other to my super-sensitive ego. One day in high school, I was so upset a teacher called me to his office. He suspected immediately something was troubling me. Although I was able then to explain to him in vivid detail the particular grievance I was dealing with, to this day I do not recall any of it. Besides, so many things used to bother me in those days, it was a full-time job just to keep my grudges properly organized. He asked me how the person who upset me thought about all this. I said, “I don’t know. The jerk could probably care less.” He paused hoping I had actually heard what I just said. And when he realized I didn’t, he gave me that pained look only extended to the dense and the clueless. “So, tell me,” he asked, “… and how is that working for you?”

Anger is a natural human response when we perceive an injustice or injury. In and of itself, anger is not evil. It is not wrong. Rather, anger is an ambivalent defense mechanism that enables us to recognize a threat to ourselves or to others. It then infuses the heart with added courage and gives us the needed impetus to ignore, confront, or otherwise deal with that threat. But before we craft a response, we are also afforded the opportunity to assess the severity of the threat, whether or not it is worth breaking a sweat over, whether or not it deserves a measured response, and if it does, how much time and energy we ought to reasonably expend in resolving this disruption to our peace of mind and heart. The size of one’s ego is easily measured by the turmoil a perception of injustice or injury is caused in the mind and heart. It is often also directly proportional to the intensity of billowing steam pouring out of one’s ears, the use of colorful words to describe the indignation, and the flow of gastric fluids to induce migraine headaches, irritability, sleeplessness, heartburn, fingernail chewing, sarcasm, sulking, a loathing for all things bright and cheerful, patchy hair loss, a loss of bladder control, restless leg syndrome, and excessive letter writing to the editors of the local newspaper.

As I discovered eventually in those days of my angry youth, the source of my intense anger seldom experienced the turmoil that tormented me. And that realization only compounded my rage further. In the growing intensity of my fury, I attempted to confine those who offended me in some kind of psychological prison, but soon found myself to be the sole occupant in that prison of my own making. And I was just twelve. Can you imagine how much therapy awaited me to help get me over my bad self?

When David was a youth, he served in the court of King Saul. But as he grew in popularity, the king grew to despise him, that he was considered a personal threat to the king, that the king publicly called for his death. The first reading from the first book of Samuel tells us of David hiding in the same place where the king had settled down for the night. The king’s personal security detail had fallen into such a deep sleep David could have exacted vengeance on the king for all the grief he had caused him. But he chose instead to resolve his anger by letting go of resentment against the king. It was far from a reasonable response since David was on the run for his life, yet his unusual choice came from his recognition of God’s favor in choosing and anointing Saul to be king, a reality that reflected God’s favor in choosing and anointing him to be king.

In the gospel passage from Luke, Jesus lays out for his disciples the underlying principles of his life’s work and teaching. Today he addresses our common human experience of anger, frustration, and indignation. He does not deny we experience it. He himself expressed anger at least once as recorded in scripture, when he overturned the moneychangers’ tables and drove the merchants out of the temple. His anger that time arose from his perception of injustice which he felt compelled to act on. Yet his chosen response was not the fruit of outrage and resentment. He did not impose the burden of his anger, frustration, or indignation on others. And as he neared the end of his earthly ministry, he was convinced he had even fewer options.

His instructions for those who wish to be his disciples point in the direction of what at first glance is truly absurd and unreasonable. He calls us to love all even when they choose not to love us back. And when we suffer injustice at their hands, he tells us to offer no resistance to their evil designs. Instead, he urges us to go out of our way to extend even more kindness to those who would harm us. And the most compelling reason for this response is that the awesome mercy of God is just as absurd and unreasonable. God extended his mercy to us when we were undeserving, unaware, and ungrateful. If we wish to attain the fullness of our purpose in this life according to his design, we should strive for the perfection that belongs to God alone, that we might share God’s values, that God’s thoughts may be our thoughts, that we should follow Jesus’ example of patience and forgiveness. Anger is a natural response to a perceived injustice or injury. But those who wish to be Jesus’ followers have a better option – to extend mercy, compassion, and forgiveness as God has done and continues to do to us. Forgiveness is the only option to rid our hearts of bitterness and resentment against those who offend us. It is a response both absurd and unreasonable. Yet it is a choice we must make intentionally each time. Forgiveness does a most extraordinary thing anger will never accomplish. Forgiveness liberates us finally from the awful prison of hate.