Will They Know Us By Our Love?

Twenty years ago, my dad’s side of the family came together for our first ever family reunion. It was our first gathering since a death the previous year of the wife of one of his brothers. The cousins concluded quickly that we had to get together again soon while people were healthy and it could be a more joyous occasion. I had some modest expectations of the event. I would gather information for our family tree, which still had significant gaps. My dad has four siblings, all married only once, with kids and grandkids. At that time in that generation there were nine people, four couples and my widower uncle. Among my siblings and first cousins then, there were 20 individuals, 10 married, and 3 who came with a guest, a total of 43. There were 24 nieces, nephews, and second cousins, bringing the grand total to 66 individuals. It was quite exciting then, since I had never imagined being related to so many people. It was like being a member of an exclusive club without even trying. It’s been 20 years, and I’ve lost count.

I find unique characteristics of people interesting and then there’s the unique people I’m related to. For instance, among my siblings, our lower front teeth face slightly inward, and we can roll our tongues forward and sideways. We all have short ear lobes and short big toes. And I am the only one who doesn’t like cilantro.

All families will have unique character traits, something physical like a prominent nose, a significant forehead, or delicate lips, or features like dimples, a distinctive squint or smile or laugh, perhaps a talent for language or an aptitude for music, perhaps a passion for politics or comedy. Some character traits can be less than desirable, like clumsiness, or foot-in-mouth disease, or jumping to conclusions. It could be a weakness for public approval or a self-image insecurity. Whatever the unique character trait, they distinguish one family group from others on the planet, while shamelessly declaring the common bond they share one with the other. And larger groups are constantly redefining themselves, even some demanding stricter adherence to their principles and codes of behavior. We naturally want to know who we are, who belongs to us, and who may want to claim us as theirs.

The community of Jesus’ disciples did not see themselves as a separate unique group from the beginning. They acknowledged themselves to be citizens of the state, sometimes reluctantly, and members of their faith community. But they soon found themselves at odds with those who did not share their connection with Jesus Christ, until they were eventually expelled from the temple. In the first three hundred years of the church’s existence, the unifying characteristic of Jesus’ followers was their courage and faithfulness in the face of violent persecution. These early Christians were often willing to forfeit their rights, their property, and their lives in the assurance of eternal happiness in the kingdom of God. They professed faith in God who became flesh and offered his own life to free all people from sin and death. And in their daily living, they supported each other, and no one was in need. They were a mistreated and defenseless minority, so they focused on encouraging one another to joyful hope and perseverance.

Toward the end of the apostolic era, the early church set out to define its identity and its structures while roiled by internal dissent and controversy. But the community soon experienced success routing its enemies and spreading its message of salvation to the far reaches of civilization. No longer a defenseless minority, and now closely linked to the ruling class, the followers of Jesus gradually grew in political prestige and power, amassing material wealth and influence, while also yielding to the pitfalls of excess, corruption, and abuse. Two thousand years from its humble beginnings, the Christian community continues to discern its identity and define its structures while inviting its members to a more authentic practice of the faith. There is still quite a lot of prestige and power, a lot of wealth and influence, excess, corruption, and abuse. But Jesus challenges us in today’s gospel to not be taken in by fluctuating cultural trends and instead to offer the world an intentional and radical witness of the gospel. “Love one another.” It is too simple a message, yet one we still find most challenging to live out. We can claim to know how to love. So, what have we missed?

In his sermon on the mount in the gospel of Matthew, Jesus teaches that we love our enemies and pray for our persecutors. Admittedly, this particular expression of love goes contrary to common sense and universal practice. How should we respond when we are met with hostility and hatred? Jesus tells us our response is to love. Love means, above all, to do no harm. It means to seek no vengeance. It means to desire good even for those, especially for those, who wish us harm. And the standard Jesus sets is not any personal measure of love, not “as you know how to love,” but rather, love as “I have loved you.” Yet some who say they are Christian find this teaching absurd and will teach others to likewise disregard it. They will go to great lengths to justify unchristian behavior, antagonizing non-believers, and mistreating or withholding compassion toward those who believe differently. Are today’s Christians so fragile as to cry foul and sulk whenever they are offended? We might recall that when Jesus’ followers were without political power or influence, they remained joyful and determined in the face of mocking unbelief and violent opposition. How the tables have turned. There was a time when Christians neither complained nor whined that they got the short end of the stick. Instead, they considered it a great honor to suffer persecution for the sake of the name. When we water down the gospel message, when we deny that Jesus meant what he said, we alter the gospel to excuse our inaction and dismiss its transforming power. We would rather ignore Jesus than allow his message to transform our hearts and minds.

“Love one another.” In this current culture of unapologetic disregard for people on the margins, of misinformation and unaccountability, of incivility and unkindness, of blatant prejudice, fearmongering, and advocating violence, Jesus’ disciples seem to have lost our nerve and instead prefer he take his message elsewhere. If we are truly his disciples, how is any of this behavior consistent with his teachings and example? Have we lost our sense of our own dignity and of our neighbor as children of God, redeemed by his mercy and compassion, transformed by his suffering, death, and resurrection? Instead, now it seems those who claim to be Christians will actually applaud rudeness, consider disrespect acceptable, and encourage outright scorn and insult. If we truly heed Jesus’ command to love one another as he loved us, we cannot require unbelievers to first do what Jesus says, then we would follow. Our actions proclaim our convictions loud and clear. Will others know we are his disciples when our love is nothing like his?